If this is true

I really need to sort my life out and I refuse to watch Joe vs the Volcano because I really fucking hate Tom Hanks and Will.I.Am (which looks a bit like William, which is clever but he's not in Joe vs the Volcano although he is going to the core of volcanoes). I have no strong opinions on anyone else involved in the project, although I have met Richard Branson's sister, she was nice - she told me never to tie your hair with elastic bands, very useful advice. It's definitely not true though.

Werner Herzolcano (he should def call the film that)

This post is again going to be me going on about how excited I am about a volcanic project but this REALLY IS EXCITING! Werner Herzog's next film is going to be a VOLCANO DOCUMENTARY!!! (you can tell I'm really excited by the amount of caps and exclamation marks I'm using). Really I don't know why I'm that excited it's not very surprising as I'm sure by now everyone has worked out that everything great is linked to volcanoes however tenuous that link may be. It's also not that surprising as there is something quite volcanic about Herzog's films anyway, it might be that they often have a sense of waiting, of something building up which can be a bit like a cano. There is also the obvious amazing cinematic quality of volcanoes and man vs nature which both crop up Herzog's film all the facking time (I should know I did my AS level German oral exam on Herzog and my teacher hadn't even heard of him- what a loser!). Actually it turns out that he has already directed a film about a volcano erupting on Guadeloupe, the focus was on the inhabitants that refused to leave and their views on death and the volcano. The film is only 30 mins long, I will try and get hold of  a copy. 

I'd have to agree

Here's a video of him talking about volcanoes (I didn't really watch it, I was a bit distracted by the Wizard of Oz because because because etc...)

This shows the lovely cinematic quality of volcanoes- as always there are loads of volcanoes erupting at the moment I'll write about them soon. 

Risk Registers and Doctor Who

A massive volcanic eruption has been added to the UK national risk register, which already includes pandemic flu, flooding and terrorism. The particular worry is an Icelandic Laki style eruption which will produce large toxic gas clouds, the eruption in 1783 caused death and crop failure. While this clearly is a worry it is however more surprising that space war is not included on the risk register. As someone who has watched loads of Doctor Who episodes I can tell you that in the 21st century space war is a much bigger threat than volcanic eruptions. As in all the episodes I have watched there have been countless wars with the sycorax, sliltheen, tocloafane, daleks, cybermen, bat creatures, etc and only one volcanic eruption. And that volcanic eruption was Vesuvius, the 79AD one which clearly isn't a threat any more. I can't remember that episode too well at the moment as I've just watched the previous series, so should watch it soon and will let you know if it's still a threat. So either the government is lying to us about the real risks or Doctor Who needs to be more accurate and anyone who has seen the spaceship/ 18th century France episode (my favourite) will tell you that it is not. So I think in conclusion more Doctor Who episodes should feature more volcanoes although it's really not the same without lovely David Tennant.

Noel Cowardano

There are times in your life when you read about something and realise you have seen/have read it. And I have recently discovered a Noel Coward play called Volcano that was written with Katharine Hepburn in mind. Which sounds amazing, sadly as it's an undiscovered masterpiece there isn't too much information about it aka it has no wikipedia page. It's going to be on at the Theatre Royal in Bath this summer so hopefully I can combine seeing it with a trip to Bath Spa, which due to geothermal activity I can link to volcanoes. The play was written when Noel Coward moved to Jamaica, is set on a volcanic Caribbean island, it's about 2 women falling for a married man and his acid-tongued wife (presumably KH) trying to fight them off. Then I reckon the play will end in a massive hilarious eruption/argument but its hard to know as I haven't seen it. I'll let you know what happens when I have. I think I would cast Katharine with an Icelandic volcano because as well as being cutting she was also icy but sadly I will never be able to direct a play starring Katharine Hepburn about volcanoes.

Roxy Oxy-Moron plagiarism

Among the things that have happened in my life recently, I have joined twitter, more about my twittering later. But the reason I joined twitter is so I can follow volcanologists and see links to volcanic articles, which is working pretty well at the moment so much so that I might have to start writing about serious volcano things (but not yet). Today I saw this amazing link, the restaurant was built in the 70s and must have been stolen from Simmer and Devour. As you can see below the issue featured the Gods cooking with volcanoes and a feature by Roxy Oxy-Moron from 1933 about the Hawaiian cooking method. So I really want to go to Lanzarote and I'm not sure whether to sue the restaurant or just eat there. 

Now back to my twittering (delib mistake), I haven't actually done any yet but I think I might start posting as Mount Etna or another fairly active volcano. I'll decide if I can be bothered later in the week. Another consequence of me joining twitter is that I now like Joey Barton and I used to hate him which is good. But I think I need to follow someone other than volcanologists and Barton as it's a bit weird. 

Patterns

I got sent this lovely volcano pattern today from my friend Katy who has these blogs.

I know the angle is too steep on the yellow cano and it's supposed to be Krakatoa, I'm not sure about the bear population in Indonesia either, although I'm never one to quibble over these appearance of bears. The picture is from this tumblr which is lovely and has some other really good patterns. It's originally from this website which like everything great is Swedish.

Dormancy

This blog has been dormant for a while which I'm sorry about and because of my lack of activity, the coming of spring and other events (which have caused the blog silence) I have been thinking about dormant volcanoes coming to life. The next zine is going to be on the themes of eruption and dormancy so hopefully I will have lots of material. But I think that the important thing about dormancy is that is an unknown state and what we can immediately see may differ from what is happening under the surface. Just because something seems lifeless it may just be gathering energy and waiting for the right conditions to spring into action. With scientific advances we know more and more about these states of inactivity, for example volcanoes are closely monitored and we can predict when we think a volcano is about to erupt. There are so many examples in nature of things lying in a state of complete dormancy before returning to life such as resurrection plants, arctic caterpillars and if you haven't realised this is basically a big coma metaphor. So I think what I'm getting at is that what we can see and what we're told can be deceptive; people in Pompeii didn't even know about the existence of volcanoes until Vesuvius erupted so was it dormant or just unknown? Fuji one of my favcanoes hasn't erupted in about 400 years but is classed as active so these states of dormancy are not absolute, a bit like comas, scientists like to define things but really it's impossible as they are too many variables and in-between states. A volcano is dormant until it erupts but you need the comparison to show this, it's like the really bad joke 'I'm on a diet until my next meal' (I'm not sure that is an established joke). A resurrection plant can look like a ball of dead twigs and never believe doctors when they tell you someone will die. I really do find it very important that I can link everything in my life back to volcanoes.

The Dormant Taranki and the living cows

Resurrection Selaginella

This is the painting of a dormant volcano that I did for Isaac birthday almost exactly a year ago- how fitting, I'll do him an active one this year.

I'll write a post this weekend that is actually about volcanoes, lots has been happening in the world of volcanoes.