Spring Cleaning

To anyone who has ever visited anywhere that I've ever lived it will come as no surprise that I'm a bit of a hoarder. The upside of this, in addition to having to loads of cool shit, is that every so often you have to sort through aforementioned shit and find some fun things.

 This is a birthday present I got a while ago, when you're finished you can reappropriate the vinegar and bicarb for cooking/cleaning purposes (Boom, life hack!)

Here are all the covers for all the recent Volcano Club issues. I think my favourite apart from Heston (which I didn't do so lets forget about that) is Simmer & Devour and I always think I'm crap at drawing people which just shows what a lazy twat I am. I also love the map because I love maps.

Here are all the back covers because I love word searches. 

All the issues are available to read on the links in the side of the page. 

Volcano Songs

For ages now I've wanted to make a Volcano Club playlist/mixtape/CD or something of that ilk. Sometimes I do find songs that I put on the blog and people often send me volcanic tunes however due to a popular music streaming service I can now compile a playlist as I find songs and then release it when it's big/good enough. So far I have 6 songs, and only one is by Bjork, a general stipulation of playlists that you are only allowed one song per artist, although obviously Prince, Prince & the Revolution and Prince & the New Power Generation are all different artists sadly I haven't actually found any Prince volcanoes song but don't worry I will. I also can't decide whether or not the songs have to be about volcanoes or can just be by bands with volcano in the name - which really widens the subject but may make the playlist less volcanic

Here is the list of the first six songs
1. Volcano - Beck
2. Volcano - Jimmy Buffett
3. Vesuvius - Sufjan Stevens
4. Java Girl - East of Underground
5. Take Me Back Again - Volcanoes
6. Mutual Core - Bjork

So send me more songs and I'll make a really good playlist and post it at some point. 

Volcano Cricket World Cup

As I was listening to the dramatic conclusion of the semi final between New Zealand and South Africa I remembered one of my fave ever VC posts, ranking all the teams in the european football tournament as if they were judged on volcanoes alone. Here is how the cricket world cup could have been if all that were considered were the volcanoes. Ratings will be given as a VEI (0-8) primarily on volcanoes in the country but playing style can have some impact, my preferences will obviously have none. Ties will be decided on volcano activity alone.

Pool A

Afghanistan
Wikipedia says there are a couple of extinct volcanoes in Afghanistan but I've never heard of them. Its only recently that the have made it on the international cricket scene and have improved quickly - beating Scotland in the group stage.
VEI - 1

Australia
Australia is obviously a very diverse country that has pretty all the ecosystems but no fucking active volcanoes, although there are a shitload of extinct ones. As much as it pains me to admit this the cricket team are pretty exciting if a little predictably good.
VEI - 3

Bangladesh
Apparently there are no volcanoes in Bangladesh but you've got to love the cricket team who made the quarter finals this year.
VEI -1

England
The only volcanoes of note are extinct ones in Wales which is technically part of England in the cricket world. What can you even say about the England cricket team? The got rid of KP the only vaguely eruptive thing.
VEI - 0

New Zealand
Yay finally some active volcanoes including the excellently named Mount Horrible and Mount Dick. White Island in 2013 was the most recent eruption in the country. The cricket team are also on fire and as they're already in the final therefore good to back.
VEI - 7

White Island

Scotland
Lots of extinct volcanoes, volcanic landscapes and volcanic plugs in Scotland including Arthur's Seat some bits of the Hebrides including Skye and St Kilda. The cricket team are just a bit shit though, sorry lads.
VEI - 2

Arthur's Seat

Sri Lanka
Again no active volcanoes but there is Sigiriya which is the best volcanic plug and one of the earliest examples of landscape gardens, a former buddhist monastery and I love it. It's close to Kandy which has the best cricket ground and great forests. The team are also pretty exciting.
VEI - 4

Sigiriya

Pool A - Results
New Zealand - 7
Sri Lanka - 4
Australia - 3
Scotland - 2
Afghanistan - 1
Bangladesh - 1
England - 0

Pool B

India
The main vulcanicity in India are the Deccan traps which are one of the largest volcanic features on earth. This volcanic activity occurred at the Cretaceous-Paleogene boundary and possibly responsible for dinosaur extinction. Cricket team are good if a little dull.
VEI - 4

Deccan Traps

Ireland
The Irish cricket team represents the whole of Ireland, which is good thing from a VC POV as Giants Causeway is in Northern Ireland and a volcanic formation. Cricket wise - they're the new England.
VEI - 2

Giant's Causeway

Pakistan
Pakistan is home to Tor Zawar - the only recent volcano in South Asia which erupted completely unexpectedly in 2010. The cricket team are eruptive although possibly more for the off the pitch activities.
VEI - 4

South Africa
There's a game reserve in South Africa - Pilanesberg which is of volcanic origin but not much else apart from Prince Edward and Marion Island (I'm only really counting mainland volcanoes for this). I've never been a fan of the team.
VEI - 1

United Arab Emirates
No volcanoes here and it's a ridiculous country.
VEI - 0

West Indies
The West Indies (which only really exists for cricketing purposes) consists of Antigua and Barbuda, Barbados, Dominica, Grenada, Guyana, Jamaica, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Anguilla, Montserrat, British Virgin Islands, Sint Maarten and US Virgin Islands. Sorry for the long list but I've always wondered. Active volcanoes include Kick 'em Jenny and Soufriere Hills, sadly Mount Pelee is on Martinique and not therefore in the West Indies. They are also my favourite the best international cricket team.
VEI - 5

Kick 'em Jenny

Zimbabwe
There are some volcanic land forms in Zimbabwe but not much to speak of.
VEI - 1

Pool B - Results
West Indies - 5
India - 4
Pakistan - 4
Ireland - 2
South Africa - 1
Zimbabwe - 1
UAE - 0

Quarter Finals! Sadly this is going to be a bit predictable, I should create some sort of dice cricket element for this.
India v Australia
India win by 30 runs, with the help of the Deccan traps Kohl and Dhoni put on a big target that can't be chased down.
West Indies v Scotland
West Indies win by 9 wickets, Chris Gayle makes another record breaking 200 and it's a bit of walkover.
Sri Lanka v Pakistan
Sri Lanka win by 2 runs, this one goes down to the last ball and final wicket but Malinga slogs it over the boundary for 6.
New Zealand v Ireland
New Zealand win by 10 wickets. Ireland all out for a pitiful 92.

Semi Finals
New Zealand v India
New Zealand win by 2 wickets.
West Indies v Sri Lanka
In an exciting semi final West Indies win by 24 runs.

FINAL!!!
New Zealand v West Indies
Chris Gayle's instagram account can't help him now (not sure if this makes me like him more or less but it does have to be seen), Williamson and Guptill help NZ put on an impressive 358 and win by 43 runs.

Here is a picture of VC favourite Tongariro to celebrate.

Sorry that was very long but you probably didn't read it all. It does make you wish that England had colonised countries with more volcanoes. If NZ do win the World Cup then it's obviously all down to the volcanoes.

Cyclone Pam and Volcano Ambrym

One of the main problems with volcano club is that whenever I want to find out about somewhere it's normally because of a fairly large eruption and volcanoes tend to be in really cool places. Then I have this weird desire to go load of places following ecological disasters - so today we have Vanuatu. Vanuatu is so cool that it has the highest language density in the world and is estimated to be the most ecologically efficient country with high well being. It's a great place if you can ignore Tanna, the island where they worship Prince Philip, but that's a cargo cult which have more to do with european colonisation anyway, I mean I'm not a theologist but that's probably true. Unless you know all the flags in the world, all the capitals in the world or are an avid pointless viewer (tbh I'm sure that lots of people are all three) then you might not have known a lot about Vanuatu until cyclone Pam. Vanuatu is quite near Fiji and New Caledonia and used to be called New Hebrides presumably because like the real Hebrides when Captain Cook went there it rained continuously and no shops were open.

The cyclone has been described as the worst natural disaster in the country's history with many buildings being destroyed and some islands being left without services like drinking water. For the island of Ambrym things were particularly shit as there was also a volcanic eruption, however it wasn't in the direct path of the cyclone so other islands were worst affected and are still in need of aid. The volcano is also called Ambrym and has a 12km wide caldera which is fucking massive and was formed in the second largest eruption in recent history. There are two craters - Marum and Benbow which have lava lakes, lava lakes are fucking great as you can see below. The recent eruption was actually quite small and the volcano is one of the most active in the world but the area is still in state of alert.

A quick google search will tell you that aside from volcanoes the island is also known for black magic and there are many associated dances and rituals with this. I think that this type of searching shows the problem with the internet because while I'm sure that there are these beliefs which are important and deeply held, but if you're a tourist you probably aren't really seeing them and you can't expect to understand a foreign culture from a week long stay. Also these magical beliefs are often tied to big scary things, so maybe the sense of foreboding attached to the island has as much to do with the fucking massive active volcano as the black magic. Which is something me and my brother were talking about yesterday - that something can have different explanations which can be unrelated yet equally valid, only he put it way better as unlike me he is theologist and had a way better analogy.

Even by VC's very low standards this post has gone wildly off topic but basically don't believe google , don't be a voyeur and there is still a disaster in Vanuatu, donate if you want.

Volcano of the Week #27 - Villarrica

Right so I haven't done a post in fucking ages but I'm not gonna be all like - relaunch, yeah I'm back! Because I keep doing that and then not posting again so I'm hoping that I can casually start posting again and no one will ever notice anything and it will just be an indication of my great new life. So basically ages ago my mate was all like 'I'm going to Chile to see volcanoes and shit, can you write about them?' and I was all like 'yeah course I will mate, that's pretty much my thing' so I wrote about Easter Island - where she's obviously not going as its in the middle of fucking nowhere. Then more recently she was all like 'I'm in fucking Chile, the volcano I was going to climb has just erupted, can you find out whats going on?' and 'I was like, yeah of course - that's totally my thing', which I didn't do like the twat I am. The other reason (I think that this is an indication of my staggering immaturity) is that whenever someone says that they are doing something slightly fun or exciting, there's a part of me that a bit too jealous to even slightly engage with anything to do with the fun or exciting thing. Which is obviously fucking ridiculous and petty, also mylife is so fucking great that I spent yesterday evening watching masterchef and making a coral reef to go in my fireplace. But back to the volcano.

Its hard not to be jealous when people send you photos like this!

Villarrica was the volcano that erupted and I know that I'm well behind as there is also the Vanuatu volcano but I can only deal with one eruption at a time as I've been working in admin for 5 months and through under stimulation my brain is seriously struggling. Villarrica is one of those volcanoes that erupts quite frequently but rarely massively - although this has been a fairly large eruption and thousands of people have had to evacuate the area. It's also up there with Mount Fuji in the classic volcano looks - snow capped, lake and forest. The lake is also called Villarrica as is a town and national park. The alert has now been degraded and the exclusion zone has been reduced but probably not enough for my mate to be able to climb it, although she did say that she would do some writing for me - cos she's a babe, I'm lazy and she should really pay some penance for having lots of fun.

Hawaiian volcanoes, Hawaiian eruptions and Hawaii big island.

In Hawaii there is currently a volcano related disaster. This is the slow moving trail of lava from the volcano Kilauea which is located on Hawaii's biggest island, called Hawaii big island. The volcano has been erupting for a really long time (since before I was even born) in a not very violent eruption this type of eruption is called Hawaiian (volcano terminology can be very easy). The reason it is such a disaster is that the lava is travelling towards a town, however as the lava is so slow moving and the eruption has been going on so long people say that this was inevitable. The videos are pretty cool and scary but also make Hawaii look lovely, the video of lava reaching the ocean is just incredible.

Kilauea is thought to be the body of Pele so my theory is that he's still really fucking angry about the state of Brazilian football (hahaha). On a more serious note, the nature of Hawaiian eruptions means that damage is relatively low which obviously isn't much of a comfort if your home and land is being destroyed.

I will try and write a longer post but I working full time which is leaving me fucking knackered. 

Hallowecano

It's that fucking time of year again when the impossible task of Halloween costumes is upon us. Obviously you don't want to wear one of those costumes that involves as few items of clothing as possible but you don't to want to wear a costume where no one knows who the fuck you are, the perfect example of this dilemma can be seen in mean girls. My personal examples of misjudged halloween costumes are Maggie Thatch and Pussy Riot member. However if you want a nice scary costume that is easy to do then why not dress up as a volcano? The best and easiest way to do this is have massive orange hair, then you can wear some kinda grey capey thing and you're an instant fucking volcano. The bonus is that any erratic or volatile behaviour can just be part of your volcanic act. Here are two of my fave singers who have got the eruptive hair thing down.

I've written about my love for both Cyndi Lauper and Bjork lots and lots before so I won't do it any more but all I will say is that Cyndi is massively underrated. Anyway happy Halloween especially if you're a volcano.