Volcano Club

Volcano Club only offers one type of membership - and that's lifetime. To become a member send some volcanic themed work to the HQ (volcanoclubhq@gmail.com) and you might get a codename or some other cool shit.

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Volcano Cricket World Cup

As I was listening to the dramatic conclusion of the semi final between New Zealand and South Africa I remembered one of my fave ever VC posts, ranking all the teams in the european football tournament as if they were judged on volcanoes alone. Here is how the cricket world cup could have been if all that were considered were the volcanoes. Ratings will be given as a VEI (0-8) primarily on volcanoes in the country but playing style can have some impact, my preferences will obviously have none. Ties will be decided on volcano activity alone.

Pool A

Wikipedia says there are a couple of extinct volcanoes in Afghanistan but I've never heard of them. Its only recently that the have made it on the international cricket scene and have improved quickly - beating Scotland in the group stage.
VEI - 1

Australia is obviously a very diverse country that has pretty all the ecosystems but no fucking active volcanoes, although there are a shitload of extinct ones. As much as it pains me to admit this the cricket team are pretty exciting if a little predictably good.
VEI - 3

Apparently there are no volcanoes in Bangladesh but you've got to love the cricket team who made the quarter finals this year.
VEI -1

The only volcanoes of note are extinct ones in Wales which is technically part of England in the cricket world. What can you even say about the England cricket team? The got rid of KP the only vaguely eruptive thing.
VEI - 0

New Zealand
Yay finally some active volcanoes including the excellently named Mount Horrible and Mount Dick. White Island in 2013 was the most recent eruption in the country. The cricket team are also on fire and as they're already in the final therefore good to back.
VEI - 7

White Island

Lots of extinct volcanoes, volcanic landscapes and volcanic plugs in Scotland including Arthur's Seat some bits of the Hebrides including Skye and St Kilda. The cricket team are just a bit shit though, sorry lads.
VEI - 2
Arthur's Seat

Sri Lanka
Again no active volcanoes but there is Sigiriya which is the best volcanic plug and one of the earliest examples of landscape gardens, a former buddhist monastery and I love it. It's close to Kandy which has the best cricket ground and great forests. The team are also pretty exciting.
VEI - 4

Pool A - Results
New Zealand - 7
Sri Lanka - 4
Australia - 3
Scotland - 2
Afghanistan - 1
Bangladesh - 1
England - 0

Pool B

The main vulcanicity in India are the Deccan traps which are one of the largest volcanic features on earth. This volcanic activity occurred at the Cretaceous-Paleogene boundary and possibly responsible for dinosaur extinction. Cricket team are good if a little dull.
VEI - 4
Deccan Traps

The Irish cricket team represents the whole of Ireland, which is good thing from a VC POV as Giants Causeway is in Northern Ireland and a volcanic formation. Cricket wise - they're the new England.
VEI - 2
Giant's Causeway

Pakistan is home to Tor Zawar - the only recent volcano in South Asia which erupted completely unexpectedly in 2010. The cricket team are eruptive although possibly more for the off the pitch activities.
VEI - 4

South Africa
There's a game reserve in South Africa - Pilanesberg which is of volcanic origin but not much else apart from Prince Edward and Marion Island (I'm only really counting mainland volcanoes for this). I've never been a fan of the team.
VEI - 1

United Arab Emirates
No volcanoes here and it's a ridiculous country.
VEI - 0

West Indies
The West Indies (which only really exists for cricketing purposes) consists of Antigua and Barbuda, Barbados, Dominica, Grenada, Guyana, Jamaica, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Anguilla, Montserrat, British Virgin Islands, Sint Maarten and US Virgin Islands. Sorry for the long list but I've always wondered. Active volcanoes include Kick 'em Jenny and Soufriere Hills, sadly Mount Pelee is on Martinique and not therefore in the West Indies. They are also my favourite the best international cricket team.
VEI - 5
Kick 'em Jenny

There are some volcanic land forms in Zimbabwe but not much to speak of.
VEI - 1

Pool B - Results
West Indies - 5
India - 4
Pakistan - 4
Ireland - 2
South Africa - 1
Zimbabwe - 1
UAE - 0

Quarter Finals! Sadly this is going to be a bit predictable, I should create some sort of dice cricket element for this.
India v Australia
India win by 30 runs, with the help of the Deccan traps Kohl and Dhoni put on a big target that can't be chased down.
West Indies v Scotland
West Indies win by 9 wickets, Chris Gayle makes another record breaking 200 and it's a bit of walkover.
Sri Lanka v Pakistan
Sri Lanka win by 2 runs, this one goes down to the last ball and final wicket but Malinga slogs it over the boundary for 6.
New Zealand v Ireland
New Zealand win by 10 wickets. Ireland all out for a pitiful 92.

Semi Finals
New Zealand v India
New Zealand win by 2 wickets.
West Indies v Sri Lanka
In an exciting semi final West Indies win by 24 runs.

New Zealand v West Indies
Chris Gayle's instagram account can't help him now (not sure if this makes me like him more or less but it does have to be seen), Williamson and Guptill help NZ put on an impressive 358 and win by 43 runs.

Here is a picture of VC favourite Tongariro to celebrate.

Sorry that was very long but you probably didn't read it all. It does make you wish that England had colonised countries with more volcanoes. If NZ do win the World Cup then it's obviously all down to the volcanoes.

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