Roxy Oxy-Moron plagiarism

Among the things that have happened in my life recently, I have joined twitter, more about my twittering later. But the reason I joined twitter is so I can follow volcanologists and see links to volcanic articles, which is working pretty well at the moment so much so that I might have to start writing about serious volcano things (but not yet). Today I saw this amazing link, the restaurant was built in the 70s and must have been stolen from Simmer and Devour. As you can see below the issue featured the Gods cooking with volcanoes and a feature by Roxy Oxy-Moron from 1933 about the Hawaiian cooking method. So I really want to go to Lanzarote and I'm not sure whether to sue the restaurant or just eat there. 

Now back to my twittering (delib mistake), I haven't actually done any yet but I think I might start posting as Mount Etna or another fairly active volcano. I'll decide if I can be bothered later in the week. Another consequence of me joining twitter is that I now like Joey Barton and I used to hate him which is good. But I think I need to follow someone other than volcanologists and Barton as it's a bit weird. 

Girls + Zines

As I live in Manchester, I'm not really a big fan of promoting London based things but my friend is putting on an exhibition at Tatty Devine called Girls + Zines. Which rather obviously is full of zines made by girls, being a girl who makes zines, Volcano Club is in the exhibition well anyway I think it is but I haven't been yet, I hope I can make it as it looks pretty great. In an interview with Dazed Digital Barbara said Volcano Club is ace too – it's a really nerdy zine about everything volcano related. This may not sound like amazing praise but I think until this point VCs best feedback was "it looks like the type of thing a serial killer would do in Morse" I might start collecting all these quotes, maybe that'll be the zine I make when I really run out of ideas. 

From Barbara via Hastings, who knew there was such volcanicity in East Sussex. 

Pret A Fucking Manger

I am very against naming things as volcanic for very little reason and Pret have now fallen into this caldera. I am yet to try their vitamin volcano smoothie nor have I ever drank from a volcano but having drank smoothies and studied volcanoes I can imagine that they are in no way similar. Why did they feel it was apt to label their product as a volcano, was it simply for alliterative purposes? Was it because like the smoothie the soils that surround volcanoes are often nutrient rich (in which case well done Pret)? Also the volcano depicted on the bottle IS CLEARLY more then 45degrees so I don't know what the hell they were thinking. But you can check out nutritional information here! But maybe I should just be happy that the nation has taken volcanoes to its heart. Let me know what you think.

Also neither of the hideous clubs have anything to do with Volcano Club shit and even shitter. I thoroughly apologise if anyone has been misled on any occasion.

Terry's Plagiarent Orange

Now if there's one thing in life that I have a natural talent for then it's making volcano based wordsearches and if there's another thing in life that I'm good at then it's making ridiculous volcano based food. So how do you think it feels to have these two talents being used (and not used very well) to market popular Christmas confectionery products? Not very good, I can tell you.

 So Terry's you stick to what you're good at (making chocolate that looks like fruit) and I'll stick to my more volcanic talents, yeah? Also putting popping candy in something does not make it volcanic, you have to construct something that actually looks like a volcano not just shove in gimmicky sweets. And if volcanoes erupted popping candy and lava was made from chocolate, then I don't think they'd be the amazing natural disaster that they are.

Thanks to my mummy for sending me this, although it would have been nice to get some actual chocolate not just the packet.

Dinosaurs, Cakes, Volcanoes

Due to having been on a godforsaken Scottish island I haven't recently done any Volcano Club work for which I apologise. The reasons for being in Scotland were entirely unvolcano related however it was actually pretty great and I did see lots of lovely fungi and birds.

I would also like to make an appeal that if anyone wants to make me a cake soon (which is a no doubt a lot of people) then could they please use these candles.

 Because as well as making a volcano cake, which have previously been proved to be great, it could have dinosaurs on it. And then it could be an amazing story cake showing a possible dinosaur extinction theory. This states that the extinction, which occurred around 65 million years ago was due to a supervolcano in modern day India. This theory is supported by evidence showing massive eruptions with huge large flows from this era. Whether its true or not, it would make a truly amazing cake.

Volcotto

Volcotto is a little known dish that is essentially a risotto shaped like a volcano. There are three main components to the dish, a mushroom risotto, sweet potato purée and cherry tomato sauce. If you are thinking, like a masterchef judge, that these ingredients don't belong on the same plate, you'd be right, but it does look pretty fantastic. Although if this dish was on masterchef the more likely response would be- 'why the fuck are you making food that looks like a volcano this is ridiculous'. But if like me and Isaac you have too much time on your hands then here's how you can make the dish.



Mushroom Risotto
(it should be noted that a risotto is best made in one go, don't make half then realised you have to go and see Joanna Newsom and then come back and complete at midnight. Having said this, if you do get a chance see Joanna go, she's definitely worth ruining a risotto for)
-1 onion
-1 clove garlic
-mushrooms (around a punnet, portobello are probably best but any will do)
-risotto rice
-stock
-white wine, approx a glass
-thyme, pepper
Lightly fry the finely chopped onion and garlic in olive oil, when they are soft add the mushrooms. Add the risotto rice and coat in the oil, add a couple of ladle fulls of stock and the pepper and thyme. As the stock gets absorbed add more, add the wine towards the end of the cooking time.

Sweet potato purée
Bake 2 sweet potatoes in foil for around 45 minuets. When cooked remove the skin and mash with olive oil and some cinnamon.

Cherry Tomato Sauce
Finely chop two cloves garlic and fry lightly in olive oil. Add halved cherry tomatoes, use about a punnet. Season with thyme, sugar and salt. Cover and cook until it's a sauce.

To assemble- shape your risotto in a big mound with a small caldera (making a magma chamber is not necessary). Spoon on the sweet potato purée in a lava like fashion, pour on the tomato sauce, this should be fairly runny so it will be harder to control. Finish with toasted pine nuts.



Chef and Visionary- Augusta Ward
Volcano Architect and Lava Art Director- Isaac Crompton

How to make Volachos (extended instructions)

Building on the recipe in the latest issue of the magazine here are some further instructions on how to make your volachos, pictures of the finished product and salsa, chilli and guacamole recipes. NB. if anyone is struggling with their three times tables then counting the spots on this plate should help (it's how I learnt).

Step 2

Step 3


Step 4

The Finished product

Or a big Volacho


To make this treat even more delicious why not make your own guacamole, chilli and salsa.

Guacamole
1 avocado (the riper the better)
1 clove garlic
1/2 lime juice
2 tsp Olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
grind the garlic, olive oil, lime juice together and then mix with the scooped out flesh of the avocado.

Chilli-con/non-carne
1 onion
1 clove garlic
1 chilli
1 red pepper
mushrooms
sweetcorn
beef or quorn mince
1 tin kidney beans
1 tin chopped tomatoes
paprika
cumin
pepper
chop all your veg finely (remember the volcano that you have to fit everything in is only the size of three tortilla chips). fry the onion and garlic and chilli in the spices to fully infuse the flavour then when the onion and garlic are turning soft add the mince and brown. next add the pepper followed by the mushroom and sweetcorn Last of all tip in your kidney beans and tomatoes and simmer for 20 minutes or until sufficiently reduced.

Salsa
(I'm not gonna lie to you, I've actually made this but how hard can it be?)
6 tomatoes
1 onion
3 mild chillies
coriander
lime juice
1 tbsp water
pretty much just chop everything reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllly finely and wap it all together.

Issue Two

Issue Two Supplement

Made and contributed by Elanor 'liquid nitrogen foothills' Footman

Amazing Volcano Birthday Cake

made by Emma 'Cake-atoa' Richards and Theo "Vesuvius" Vidgen
think the jelly baby massacre makes this cake truly great