Volcano Love, Metro Incompetence

When I was at work today I started reading the metro in the kitchen, it was my last day so I obviously wasn't going to do any actual work. The article I was most interested in was about a couple who met through their love of volcanoes and went to Kilauea for their second date. Now the article doesn't say where they are from but we can assume they are either from Hawaii or not, if they are from Hawaii then going to see a volcano wouldn't be that remarkable however if they're not from Hawaii then it is fucking mental because Hawaii is ages away from everywhere. They got married on Kilauea and live there, again if they're from Hawaii it's not that amazing because there is probably nothing else to do there. But the shoddy reporting of the metro doesn't report this vital fact. Earlier I was commenting on how bad wikipedia is for getting information but you can get some quite humorous stuff like when it said that a'a lava makes hiking difficult. The metro just leaves out important information but I will forgive it as it once ran the headline 'Teacher Made Me Photocopy My Face'. Another piece of vital information missed is that living on Kilauea isn't very dangerous as it erupts so slowly and viscously, it's not like they are living on Vesuvius or something.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/877446-lavas-in-the-air-for-volcano-fanatics-who-fell-in-love-under-the-heat

Anywhere here is the article, I don't think that the pun is very good, in future they should come to me for volcanic puns. 

Volcano Dates

Those of you who have read the latest issue of Volcano Club will know that a volcano lonely hearts column has been set to try and find love for all the lonely volcanoes out there. And we have had some luck for the lovely Kolumbo who will hopefully going on a date very soon. Here's the correspondence so far and remember to email augusta.ward@hotmail.co.uk if you too like any of our singles featured.


Sir Trotter, 12.04.11, 17:28:
Oh wise knower of all things volcano, please tell me more about this mysterious Thera. I love a good yarn, and finding Atlantis would just be aces. Think of all that fabulouso Atlantean jewelry. 


Augusta, 12.04.11, 22:04:

Dear Sir Trotter

Thank you very much for your interest in one of our singles.

Thera is actually the nickname of one of our stunning volcanoes, he is actually called kolumbo but due to the most destructive event in his history, we called him thera. This event was similar to the famous vesuvius eruption in that it buried an entire civilisation. read more here http://volcano-club.blogspot.com/2010/06/volcano-of-week-1-thera.html

Today he spends most of his time underwater, so perfect if you too love the aquatic life! While he has calmed down in recent years he can still be very active, I guarantee that you will have fun with this one. 

I have taken the liberty of attaching some pictures, I hope they entice you further.

Let me know if you like a more personal meeting, I look forward to meeting you.

Kind Regards, Augusta 

Sir Trotter, 12.04.11, 22:15:

Dear Ms Augusta,

Can I just say, he is smokin' (pardon the pun). I especially like the second picture of him, very artistic. He looks like he will be quite a handful, which is how I like 'em. And a lover of the deep blue sea, nothing could be better!

A personal meeting is definitely a must, if you could be so kind as to arrange it.

Best wishes, Sir Trotter

Augusta, 13.04.11, 19:34

Dear Sir Trotter,

I am very glad you like what you see and yes he can be a bit of a live wire! Occasionally emotionally but only because he's so passionate. 

We are a Manchester based firm, will you be in the area soon? If so I would be delighted to arrange something for you two lovebirds.

Best wishes,

Augusta

I will inform everybody of just how the saucy meeting goes.